Saeed's Millions

Mark Honeychurch - 30 September 2024

A few days ago I was scanning my spam folder, making sure nothing important had been accidentally classified as spam, when I noticed a cryptic email:

_Saeed Muhammad

Fri, 20 Sept, 04:54 (4 days ago)_

Is this email private? I have something very important to discuss with you.

Wondering what kind of scam it was, I figured the best way to find out was to respond and see what would come back:

_Mark Honeychurch honeychurch@gmail.com

Mon, 23 Sept, 10:16 (15 hours ago)

to Saeed_

Yes, it’s private. What do you want to discuss?

Sadly, when I received a long-winded response, it turned out to be nothing more than a tired old 419 scam:

_Saeed Muhammad

23 Sept 2024, 23:13 (2 hours ago)

to me_

Hello Mark,

How are you doing? Thank you so much for getting back to me, I want you to please read this carefully and as you do, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, and because I believe everyone will die someday. My name is Saeed Ali Muhammad a merchant from Dubai, UAE. I’ve been diagnosed with severe illness and I’ve been hospitalized in the Greater Sacramento Area of California for some time now. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment and right now according to medical experts I am just going to be surviving daily according to His WILL.

I have not particularly lived my life as well as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business, I was the Director of Saeed A Jeweler Group LLC in Dubai from 1975 till 2019 dealing in all kinds of Jewelries, met countless of important people around the world, Though I was very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people, my employees of over 98 and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared about. But now I regret all these as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have all or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members, I had no close friend because I was scared to be betrayed and I lack trust which is part of the business then, I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give aims to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, North America and South America. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I asked members of my family with the help of my attorney to close my account, the only account left and distribute the money which I have there to charity organizations in the Philippines and Sudan; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be content with what I have left for them. The last of my asset which no one knows about but my attorney is the 4382 OUNCE of GOLD BARS/COINS Deposited with a Security Company in Namur, Belgium in 130.3 kilogram box, as at today’s market each OUNCE cost $1,820.47 dollars multiplied by 4382 is the total amount we have there, I will want you to help me collect this deposit, trade it to any currency in the bullion market and dispatch it to REGISTERED charity organizations and communities around you, this will help a lot of family/people suffering during this hard time the world is facing.

I want you to take 30% of the total proceeds for your assistance/work. I was searching for a reputable person online, then I came across your Profile, I read about you and my instinct has chosen you to do this for me. I also want you to know that this is 100% LEGIT. I will provide you with all the information including receipts you need as soon as I read back from you.

Have a great day

Saeed

I tried to reason with Saeed, to see if the scammers can even be bothered with engaging in a conversation, or if they’re just looking for easy marks that take the bait immediately. My response argued that Saeed was being too generous, that he was offering me too much money.

_Mark Honeychurch

24 Sept 2024, 01:32 (0 minutes ago)

to Saeed_

Hi Saeed,

Wow, it seems hard to believe that this is actually 100% LEGIT - I feel so honoured to have been selected, and it’s great that you found my Profile. I’d be fascinated to hear just what it was about my profile that made your instinct select me. Was it my ardent skepticism, my lock picking skills, or the fact that I’m learning to play the musical saw?

By my reckoning, those gold bars and coins are worth $7,977,299.54, so almost $8 million, which is a lot! My 30% cut, just for selecting some charities, looks like it would be $2,393,189.862 - over $2 million! That seems a little excessive, don’t you think? Even if it took me two years to disburse all your money, with an annual salary of $100,000 I’d only need 10% of what you’re offering to me. Am I able to negotiate this price down a little? As a non-believer, I’d like to think that I’m a little more ethical than most religious people, and would hate to take advantage of your goodwill. To be honest, taking that much money would feel like I was stealing from charity.

How about, as a compromise, you pay me $500,000 USD, over the next 5 years, and in return I will endeavour to find the most worthy charities to receive the rest of your money - kind of like what Effective Altruism does, but without the AI nonsense. Does that sound fair?

Also, given that you’re a believer in God, are you okay that I’m a dirty heathen?

Cheers,

mark.

Sadly I’ve not heard back from Saeed since my response. I guess maybe the scammers decided I wasn’t worth their effort.