The Joy of Satan?

I've written before about how impressed I've been with the good work The Satanic Temple has been doing in the US and other countries, using the irrational fear of Satanism many Christians hold as a tool to push for secularism, and showing that the ability to do good things is not something that is exclusive to Christianity. Sometimes Christians in the US ignore the idea of the separation of church and state, and start up after-school Christian clubs or offer prayers at the opening of legislative sessions. The Satanic Temple will often counter these breaches by demanding the right to equal treatment - asking to open local government meetings with a Satanist prayer, or applying to run an after school Satanic club for kids.

I recently heard about the Joy of Satan ministries, with someone saying that followers are Nazi sympathisers. Now, of the two Satanic organisations I was aware of, The Satanic Temple I've already talked about, and the LaVeyan Satanists seemed to be wacky but mostly harmless, believing in “magick” but not a real Satan. So I figured I had to look this up for myself, and see what this third group is all about.

The organisation's Wikipedia page makes for sober reading - they are nothing like the more benign groups. Started just a couple of decades ago, Joy of Satan appears to be a mish-mash of bad beliefs, including not only anti-Semitic beliefs but also belief in UFOs, the existence of a spiritual realm, gods, Kirlian photography, telepathy, alchemy, chakras, the four elements as the building blocks of life (earth, fire, water and air), numerology, kundalini, chi, the Necronomicon, tantra, the occult, levitation, telekenesis and more.

The basic story behind the religion seems to be that there is a galactic war between alien races, and that some of these alien species ended up on earth, including hostile aliens who became Jews (and other religious groups), and more benign aliens who started the human race (and were known as Demons of the Goetia). Wikipedia tells us:

“Joy of Satan Ministries believe that one of the benign aliens, Enki, which they consider to be Satan himself, created with his collaborators on Earth human beings through their advanced technology of genetic engineering. It's considered by Joy of Satan that most salient of his creations were the Nordic-Aryan race. They declare that the Reptilians have, in turn, created their own kind by combining their own DNA with the DNA of semi-animal humanoids with the result identified as the Jewish race.”

And from the Joy of Satan website:

_“The Gods are an extra-terrestrial humanoid race of beings. In the Christian bible, they are referred to as the "Nephilim." These beings are very evolved, highly advanced, and immensely knowledgeable and powerful. They genetically modified their DNA, so they do not age.

Humanity's sole purpose was for use as slave laborers in the mines for the Nephilim. We were to be destroyed after the gold mining project was completed. Satan, along with many of the Nephilim fathered children with human mothers. These offspring were known as "Demi-Gods."”_

I don't even know where to start with this nonsense. It sounds so familiar, like there are elements of L. Ron Hubbard's Scientology, David Icke's Archon Reptilians and Sherry Shriner's Orgone Warriors all thrown into a mixing bowl. And as with these other variations on a theme, Joy of Satan has a singular leader who is blessed with being chosen as a conduit for this truth - in this case, Maxine Dietrich (who just happens to be married to a neo-Nazi leader called Clifford Herrington). To outsiders like us skeptics, these people look like fabulists, people with big egos and fanciful imaginations who enjoy making up stories. But to their followers, they are inspired leaders who are to be venerated for having a deeper understanding of the truth.

I'm a sucker for experiencing the weird and wonderful - which probably explains why I was given a voucher for a colonic irrigation for Christmas. Two weekends ago I was at an Ordo Templi Orientis meditation, and yesterday morning I spent two hours standing for a Serbian Orthodox Easter service (it turns out the Orthodox church has its own way of choosing which Sunday is Easter, and also the Serbian branch of the Orthodox church doesn't believe in chairs). I've also printed out and signed a copy of Scientology's billion year contract, which I have hanging up in my study. So I will leave you with a dedication ceremony to Satan that I found on the Joy of Satan website - I'm very tempted to invite some friends around and try this at home:

_You will need:_

- 1 or more black, blue or red candles (as many as you like)
- A sterilized needle or razor
- A piece of clean paper, large enough to write the prayer below
- A dry pen, where you sign your name in blood (dip the tip of the pen in your blood) _NOTE* YOU ONLY SIGN YOUR NAME IN BLOOD, NOT ANYTHING ELSE ON THE PAPER._

_Write the following prayer:_

Before the almighty and ineffable God Satan/Lucifer and in the presence of all Demons of Hell, who are the True and the Original gods, I, (state your full name) renounce any and all past allegiances. I renounce the false Judeo/Christian god Jehova, I renounce his vile and worthless son Jesus Christ, I renounce his foul, odious, and rotten holy spirit.

I proclaim Satan Lucifer as my one and only God. I promise to recognize and honor him in all things, without reservation, desiring in return, his manifold assistance in the successful completion of my endeavors.

_It is important to bathe before any rituals you perform, this is done out of respect. When you are ready, you can light the candle. Take the needle, prick the index finger of your left hand, squeeze some blood out.

Sign your name in blood.

Recite the prayer either aloud or in your head

Fold the paper and let it burn in the fire of the candle. Many of us have stayed and meditated until the candle had burned itself out.

At the end of the ritual, close with the words "So mote it be." And a Big "HAIL SATAN!!"_