Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

In 2005 The Kansas State Board decided to permit the teaching of Intelligent Design (a form of Creationism) as an alternative to evolution.

One letter writer to a San Francisco paper responded: “it is not surprising that they have so much difficulty with the idea of evolution in Kansas, since it hasn't happened there yet.” Another response was an open letter by Bobby Henderson, the requesting the Board give equal time to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (CFSM) alongside Intelligent Design and evolution.

By this act Henderson created the CFSM. Once Bobby Henderson published this letter to his website, many realised this was a new and, importantly, “science-based” religious doctrine, and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (CFSM) was born.

Its members are called Pastafarians. Bobby Henderson despite a bachelor's degree in mathematics and several offers from casinos of work as a mathematician (really!) now supports himself as a full-time prophet. (Two years later the Kansas State Board dropped the standards they had amended in 2005.) CFSM is a recognised religion in the Netherlands and New Zealand. This recognition includes the right to wear its recognised religious headgear (a colander) for driving licence photographs and passports, and to have marriages carried out by CFSM celebrates – referred to as Ministeronis.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster taken from the fresco where he reaches out to Adam with His Noodly Appendage. By Niklas Jansson of Android Arts.

As with all religions, different groups have had their beliefs about the world as do Pastafarians. It is not surprising that some members of the church view the beliefs of other Pastafarians as “silly”. “Silly” is the same as “heretical” but without the thumb screws. The creation story of the CFSM involves the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) constructing our universe in four days while drunk. This goes a long way towards explaining the lack of precision once we get to the quantum level. It seems the fact the quantum theory and general relativity don't line up is simply the result of the FSM getting tired and inebriated and losing track of the detail.

Another belief by some Pastafarians is that both heaven and hell exist, differing only in that in hell, the beer is warm. The CFSM is greatly supportive of the proper investigation of claims of the paranormal by groups such as the NZ Sceptics and the Wellington Police Paranormal Squad. In fact, the CFSM is very much in favour of the use of science to determine the real nature of the universe. It is true that some of the Church's own beliefs have not yet been validated by the scientific method, but this can only be a matter if time.

There are a few points on which Pastafarians disagree with established science. For example, those studying evolution claim that we are descended from ape-like creatures. They point to the fact that we have 99% of our DNA in common with chimpanzees. The prophet, Bobby Henderson, pointed out in The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster that we share even more of our DNA with pirates and are therefore clearly descended from them. It is a shame that our ancestors have been given such a bad press. Clearly an example of fake news. To honour our ancestors, Church members are encouraged to dress as pirates, particularly on special occasions.

Photo of ‘Ryan' - “In pasta we trust”

The Church has a series of principles it lives by. These generally fall into two categories. First, members of the Church believe it is a good idea if people are nice to each other. For this reason, most Pastafarians are against any serious nastiness to others, including charging too much for fermented beverages. Pastafarians, in general, don't see the point of warfare when other methods of settling disagreements are cheaper and do less damage. Most members of the Church are in favour of eating pasta and many also support the drinking of fermented substances. An important principle of CFSM is freedom of religion. CFSM believe that all religions should be free of interference from the state, including being free of any “special” treatment such as having rates remitted. Most CFSM members have no particular objection to religion being taught in schools, as long as all religions, including FSM get equal time. Given the large numbers of religions, it is recognised that the time devoted to any one religion is likely to be rather short.

In New Zealand there has been some objection to some tenants of the US original. For example, the original perception of the FSM was that the Monster was male. In fact, there seems no reason to assume any particular gender. The two large meatballs in among the spaghetti could be testes or ovaries or ovotestes that produce both sperm and ova. Due to this ambiguity, the New Zealand Church is known as The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster NZ Reformed. Its doctrine and activity are undergoing ongoing development, and assistance from people interested in furthering the work of the Church is welcome. As noted above, in New Zealand the CFSM has been recognised as a legitimate religion with the right to conduct marriages, thanks to the skillful work of the Church's Prime Ministeroni.

People interested in marrying in the CFSM or assisting it in its work of enlightenment are invited to contact the Prime Ministeroni directly at primeministeroni@gmail.com.

FAQ:

Q: It is all a send up, right?

A: How would you tell?

Q: But do members of the church believe that there is literally a FSM?

A: Many members of many churches don't believe in the literal existence of the god their church follows. In the case of Buddhists, they don't believe in the concept of god at all.

Photo of official ecclesiastical costume