John Welch

Tim Hume (Sunday Star Times June 21) has written a good account of traditional Maori Medicine (Rongoa Maori). The Health Ministry provides $1.9 million annually for this nonsense. That money would pay for approximately 1000 hip replacements.

Linley Boniface is to be congratulated for her humorous take on the prevailing hysteria around alleged "white-tail spider bites" (Dominion Post 9 March).

I thought they were all bogus! A Motueka man, Michael Dawson, was fined $4000 for describing himself as a chiropractor. This upset Nelson chiropractor Dr John Dawson who was quoted as saying his "unrelated namesake tainted the industry." Quite apart from Dr Dawson's pretentious use of the title 'Dr', his description of chiropractic as an industry is particularly apt. It is a massage business based on aggressive marketing and creating a non-existent need for gullible people to have their backs rubbed and clicked.

There is something rotten in the state of China, a country where greedy people are quite happy to poison their own citizens in the name of profit. Milk powder is assayed for protein content by detecting nitrogen levels. Melamine, being a nitrogen-rich compound, gives a return in this test which indicates for protein, so if you have a poor milk product or it has been watered down, melamine can be added to make the product look as if it is up to normal protein levels.

Don't scoff. A magazine as authoritative as Woman's Day reports a case where a woman treated her breast cancer by drinking her own urine. Following a mammogram and ultrasound examination the patient reports: "I was introduced to a surgeon who said I needed to have both my breasts removed right away." This is complete nonsense as no surgeon would ever perform a bilateral mastectomy without a tissue sample confirming the diagnosis. It is quite clear that she never had cancer at all, but a condition colloquially known as lumpy breasts or benign fibrocystic breast disease.

A surgeon claimed that an alcohol-based hand wash had been responsible for a failed evidential breath alcohol test (EBA). He had been operating all day, went home, had two glasses of wine went out again, and failed an EBA. He argued that "the moderate amount he had drunk was not enough to have put him over the limit." He claimed that an alcohol-based hand wash had been absorbed by his skin. What was he doing? Drinking it?

I imagine that most people joining the Armed Forces would expect the likelihood of a posting to an area of conflict. I know I did. I spent six months in Iraq between the two Gulf Wars. I admit that it was stressful but it was also one of the most exciting and interesting experiences that I have ever had. But that's another story.

Cranial osteopathy is based on the notion that the bones of the skull can be manipulated. Even doctors have been taken in by this nonsense. The following account is by a registered medical practitioner, Dr Putative (not his real name).

I recently spent several weeks motorcycling around southern India and was on the lookout for interesting examples of folk remedies and frauds. Ayurvedic medicine is popular because the remedies are cheap and have a long history of acceptance by ignorant and poor Indians. Middle-class Indians tend to be dismissive of 'Godmen' and Fakirs who can be found near every temple or religious institution but gullible western tourists provide rich pickings. An Austrian woman paid 34,000 Euros for Ayurvedic treatment of her memory loss. It transpired that she suffered from bipolar disorder and after an altercation in a temple she was sent home to Austria and subsequently sued over her unsuccessful treatment. The New Sunday Express Kochi 4 Feb 2007

Members of the Royal Society and other eminent doctors have written to every hospital in the UK urging them not to suggest anything but evidence-based medicine to their patients (Guardian Weekly Vol 174 No 23). This was a timely reminder given that Prince Charles had just been urging the World Health Assembly to promote alternative medicine. The letter writers reminded people that alternative and complementary medicine needs to be evaluated on the same criteria as conventional medicine. This was precisely the same argument most of us took when making submissions to MACCAH.

It has become a cliché that whenever something bad happens, a horde of counsellors descend on the survivors to make their lives a misery. It's true. Counselling does make you more sick compared to doing nothing.