Pearl and Mrs Fulton take on the seers

Greg Ansley - 1 February 1989

During the past few days the world’s soothsayers have been trotting out their annual predictions for the year ahead, ranging from massive flooding of low-lying New Zealand to the death of Cuban leader Fidel Castro by swallowing a giant insect. But psychics and stargazers have taken a battering over the accuracy of their predictions — we have been waiting two years for AIDS to claim a world leader for example — with little to commend astral messages.

Yet is it fair to condemn? After all, people have been believing that mystic forces reach down from the constellations for thousands of years from the days when Mesopotamian magicians alternately studied the livers of recently-slaughtered sheep and the movement of the heavens. True, they missed even the fall of their own kingdoms, but what is an empire or two?

nothing else, the ancient belief that stars were powerful gods gave the world the first accurate and systematic measurements, records, and mathematica! calculations for the movement of the constellations. By keeping a close eye on the gods, a bloke could a fair idea of what they had in mind for

Cult begins

The Egyptians took matters a bit further by using the Bent sky as a clock and selecting 36 bright stars whose appearances were separated from each other by 10 days. Each of these periods, later called decans, became spirit creatures with power over the particular period they covered. In time, they became subdivisions of the 12 signs of the zodiac, part of the myth that each moment of time has its own defined quality.

The ancient Greeks really put it all together by — their carousing gods in the skies and beginning the cult of personal astrology, in which anyone with the money could have his future foretold, and never mind the failure rate

Somehow or another, astrology and soothsaying survived, and even appear to be regaining strength in a global fascination with the occult. It is a complicated affair, what with figuring out stars ascending, stars descending, moons rising and so on. It does not seem to have bothered anyone, either, that the 12 divisions of the zodiac no longer correspond to the constellations assigned to them, because relative positions have changed over the centuries.

Nonetheless, the idea is that a horoscope is cast according to the configuration of the heavens at the time of birth. The influence of the positions of the sun, moon, planets and constellations is deduced from the mythological character of the celestial bodies, modified by various factors.

Among these are what is known as houses. The ancients knew that as the sun, moon and planets were living gods, they must have ao in which they preferred to live. The Greek gods, particularly, liked a comfortable acropolis to call home, hence the astrological houses. Supposedly — although we know the stars are not really gods — these houses can give information on such matters as wealth, marriage, children, friendship and death.

Little success

And so to our modern stargazers and mystics. They have not been having a good time of it. There was Auckland clairvoyant Don Dewson, for example, who took on former journalist Josh Easby in a lunchtime “psychic duel” at an Auckland club. Mr Easby had been coached in the techniques of cold reading, and did his job so well that the audience voted him the real psychic, Mr Dewson the fraud.

Tarot card reader Colin Amery was as unfortunate. He failed a series of telepathy tests conducted by University of Otago psychologist Dr David Marks. Mr Amery claimed he flunked because of Dr Marks’ “negative presence.”

And in 1986, a mid-year analysis of Auckland astrologer Jim Hull’s predictions showed the stars were particularly contrary that year. Mr Hull correctly predicted a temporary financial boom in January, especially on the 8th (The next day Wall St dived to an historic single-day loss). He missed on 13 other predictions, unless you count non-specific forecasts of terrorism (it continued, but with no new upsurge); aircraft crashes (true for every year); revolutions (some in progress from 1985, but none new); and a qualified “might die” for an unnamed world leader. None did.

Seer’s contest

This year “Newsday” will give soothsayers another chance, in the form of a duel between the professionals, my 1-year-old daughter, Pearl, and a Dallington housewife, Mrs Naomi Fulton. The professionals have already made their forecasts public. For Pearl and Mrs Fulton, a system of random selection was chosen.

A list of 40 predictions was compiled, using guesswork, spur-of-the-moment whimsy, self-confessed plagiarism from the standard annual forecasts of stargazers (a cure for cancer, a world leader dying and the like), and any other motive that came to mind. The stack was placed first in front of Pearl, who selected 12 using whatever processes 1-year-old brains have devised, then placed in a hat for blind picking by Mrs Fulton.

According to all of us, 1988 will be an interesting year:

Countess Sophia Sabak: The U.S. economy will collapse; devastating earthquake in California next month; war declared by Arab state on China; divorce for Prince Charles and the Princess of Wales; Atlantis found off the U.S. coast; new cancer vaccine for unborn children; proof of civilisation in space.

Jack Gillen: Big Californian ‘quake this month, resignation of U.S. presidential hopeful after being photographed dressed as a woman; mystery skin disease will strike millions world-wide.

Simon Alexander: A son for the Princess of Wales, a daughter for the Duchess of York, and a heatwave in Britain.

Mr Hull: Low-lying New Zealand reverts to ocean after global floods; organised violence aks in October: spate of air crashes to peak in May; inflation to rise in April; continuing financial slump; world leader to die in April (Ayatollah Khomeini?) and be replaced by “another Hitler.”

Pearl: Third world military leaders to die in plane crash; pregnancy for the Princess of Wales, engagement for Prince Edward; go-ahead for Victoria Square tower; National Party leadership bid by Mr Winston Peters: another nuclear missile deal before the U.S

elections; Richard Hadlee to take up croquet: new breakthrough in cancer fight: freak weather in Europe, North America, and crop and livestock damage in New Zealand; death of Ayatollah: Philippines president Corazon Aquino injured in unsuccessful coup, earthquakes in central America, California, tremors in New Zealand

Mrs Fulton: Inflation 9 per cent, mortgages 17 per cent; Duchess of York pregnant; Susan Devoy loses world squash title; Iran attacks Kuwait; audacious terrorist raid in Middle East: Bob Hawke faces political crisis; three New Zealand golds at Seoul; first big motor race win for David Lange; Gary Hart’s wife to leave him; world leader to die in June; cyclones cause havoc in the Pacific.

Watch this space in December for the winner