Act of God

F. Tennyson Jesse - 1 February 1989

Extract From Act of God by F. Tennyson Jesse, a novel published in the 1930’s.

Supplied by Bernard Howard.

Part of a dialogue between Canon Waterhouse and Colonel Erskine.

Canon: I can quite see this [ confession ] has a large appeal to people who like to talk about themselves.

Colonel: Most people like to talk about themselves.

…I once knew a very intelligent woman who made her living quite candidly by telling fortunes in Paris. She never pretended to me for a moment that she had any supernatural powers, or indeed that such things existed. I asked her her method, and how it was that she was practically invariably successful—and what do you think she answered?

Canon: I suppose that she saw a dark man coming overseas.

Colonel: Oh no. Nothing so obvious as that. She would look at her client’s hand, male or female, and say: “Do you know, I never expected your hand to be like this—

I thought you were a very quite, almost phlegmatic person. Now…I see it is only your amazing self-control. You are really terribly highly-strung—highly-strung to the danger-point, but your amazing self-control prevents people from understanding that.” Canon: Dear me, yes, I can see that that might work.

Colonel: She said that it invariably did. After that it was as easy as falling off a log. Everyone said: “Yes. How did you know that? No one has ever understood that before.” And she used to reply: “But you have always been misunderstood, my dear. Your feelings are intensely strong. Only your self-control happens to be stronger.” And then she would say: “You are subject to intense fits of depression.”

She said this was the crowning touch. No one can resist being told they are subject to intense fits of depression. After that her clients told her the whole of their lives without realizing it, and she only had to tell it to them back again in slightly different words. She made a fortune, and she deserved it.

Canon: She did indeed. After all, it is a less cruel fraud than spiritualism.