Soothsayers predict scandals, disasters
- 1 November 1988
The Evening Post, 28 December 1987
NEW YORK. — When the moon eclipses the sun next March 17, clairvoyants predict a worldwide surge in violent crimes. The dikes in the North Sea will burst, and drug and alcohol abuse will reach new heights.
Now is the season for outlandish, and sometimes accurate, predictions for 1988 and astrologists and clairvoyants forecast a year of royal intrigue in Britain, a sex scandal in Moscow, good news for balding men, and underwear that glows in the dark.
Princess Diana dominates the predictions for the British royal family, but astrologists are divided over her romantic future.
Countess Sophia Sabak predicts that Princess Diana will divorce her husband Charles, the Prince of Wales, and move to California to follow a career in fashion design, while Barbara Donchess foresees plastic surgery following a car accident.
Astrologer Leah Lusher says the royal couple will have a little girl.
Monaco’s Princess Caroline will do her one better by producing quadruplets following fertility treatments.
More momentous, according to predictions published in Horoscope magazine, will be a successful coup against the Greek Government by a group of nostalgic royalists.
World News, a weekly magazine, said that the constellations augur only bad news for the communist world.
Cuban leader Fidel Castro will narrowly escape death after swallowing a giant insect during one of his lengthy speeches in Havana.
Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev will be bitten by the love bug and succumb to the charms of a 19-year-old blonde stewardess, leaving his wife Raisa.
Astrologist Duncan Sargent predicts that another earthquake will shake California and hit 6.5 on the Richter scale. He also sees singers Michael Jackson and Diana Ross saving people’s lives in a deadly New York fire.
Singer Frank Sinatra will get a little richer when oil is discovered in his garden, according to Barbara Donchess’s crystal ball, an even happier event, given Sargent’s prediction of a coming oil shortage in the United States.
President Reagan is also predicted to await the perfection of the Nasa space shuttle before recommending that his son Ron, an intrepid journalist, make the space voyage.
Look for John Kennedy junior to make a film debut with Madonna and Sean Penn. who will be divorced.
Banana base
Medium James Starr said that the Scandinavians will come up with a miracle lotion for curing baldness made of a banana and oatmeal base that will be sold over the counter in pharmacies by November.
Clairvoyants also say to look in 1988 for a plastic car that will revolutionise the automobile industry, a technique for implanting new teeth, and fashions featuring fluorescent underwear.
Come Thanksgiving Day celebrations in late November in the United States, would-be diners will be chagrined over the absence of their traditional turkey dinner. The birds will be wiped out by an epidemic.
- NZPA-AFP